Thursday, February 14, 2008

Reading "Othello" detrimental to relationship, study finds

Something that only an idle mind can produce.People who have seen or read William Shakespeare's "Othello" and have told their partners are almost certain to break up. William Sanders, a freshman in poli-sci at UCLA, told his girlfriend that he was studying the play for an English course. They broke up within a month for no apparent reason. Julie Styles, a North Vancouver native and second-year UBC student, saw her 6-year relationship being ended in a matter of days after she had told her boyfriend she was reading "Othello". Alison Cooper from Sydney tearfully recalls that her 40-year-old marriage was over after her husband, Bill Dawson, a plumber, went to see a local production of the play. "My Bill was so loving and sweet," she said, "But that goddamn Shakespearean play made him lose his mind. He was always ranting about how to murder a wife, and I simply couldn't take it anymore." Ms Cooper is currently under psychiatric treatment and facing mortgage issues. The tragic play seems to have most horribly affected people who have just started dating. 8.75 out of every 10 people surveyed broke up the day after they confessed that they had read, seen or were reading "Othello". Caroline Mahtab, an assistant professor at the University of Cairo pointed out the reason: "The play is cursed, and although people do not believe in these things anymore, every book has a Qi" she said. "Like a person, a book too has a soul, since so much of it is the work of a human soul, and many others." Coyote Dina, a Native American elder from the Haida tribe, confirmed this theory. "It is true -- books and parchments do have souls, and some have the power to affect human beings in ways they cannot even imagine." Literature professors, psychologists and leading Shakespeareans have hotly refuted this view. "It's complete BS," dramatist Tom Stoppard is reported as saying. "Shakespeare would never do such a thing." Celebrity psychologist Dr Phil had a lenient but disapproving view. "There is so much hate in that story," he said. "Hate cannot be your friend." He refused to comment on Oprah Winfrey, however. The RSC have refused to shut down productions of "Othello", despite the 660 protests held worldwide. Last October protester Sidhu Gurujan of Punjab, India almost died from injuries sustained while setting himself on fire. A flowerpot from a nearby apartment had cracked open his skull. While critics are convinced that talking about the play leads to relationship disasters, they have admitted that reading or seeing it and not talking about it could actually be beneficial. Many students confirmed this, and have confessed that writing papers on "Othello" helped them get good grades. "It works like an aphrodisiac," Oka Sung happily announced. The happy Toronto party-goer has his own prescription for students reading "Othello": "Tell you girlfriend or boyfriend that you're actually reading "Romeo and Juliet, and even if you haven't read "R & J", nod religiously when your partner talks about it." Religious leader Mullah Tashfinullah from Khorasan, Obasan, Afghanistan blasted the concentrated efforts of world universities in forcing young minds to indulge in the play. "In the name of Allah, the benevolent, the merciful," he said, "The book is actually about a battle between the forces of good and evil. It is as clear as sand and water. "The lady character (Desdemona) preaches with her actions that love is blind, while the pious Moor shows how marriage is a real-opener. "Anybody who poisons young minds against wedlock with such lies is a worshiper of Satan and progenitor of CSI Miami, and will burn in the bottomless pits of hell." He approved of readings of "Romeo and Juliet" in lieu of "Othello", calling it an admirable work, but insisted that the actress should wear a veil at all times. William Shakespeare was born in Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire, England in 1564. He is the most respected playwright in the English language, and his works continue to generate truckloads of critical responses by university professors and graduates alike. Shakespeare died in 1616 after a merry bout of drinking, and left his second-best bed to his widow in his will. Hexed literary works have long generated discontent, an issue that remains ignored by the authorities to this day. Last year a mass hysteria ensued rumors that reading James Joyce's "Ulysses" caused individuals to vomit and then laugh shaking their heads wildly. Now, how was that for a Valentine's Day post? :D :D Sorry for disappearing for a while. Wandering, wandering.

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